Self-Love = (second) Best Love

What is love?

To Love me?

To Love you?

To Love him?

To Love her?

I am HER so I will just love myself.

I am HIS child. God loves me. (do you believe that?)

How can I achieve love without a man? (girl be for real)

How can I love myself?

I love me?

(…… but why is that a question?)

Let’s Talk About It.

Hello Blooming Beautiessssss! Welcome to this weeks blog on self love, beauty and God’s love. This is going to be a long one, so if you need to stop and come back, I TOTALLY understand. I want to open your minds on how you think abut yourself and how you may or may not let outside opinions make you miss the true definition of love. Cozy on up and let’s get it blooming!

Rose

This is a rose. Many girls want roses. Many people leave this world without being handed their roses. The roses that are deserving. Then roses that represent love, purity, admiration, or gratitude, friendship, passion, enchantment, and courage.

Rose.

A woody perennial flowering plant known for its beauty and fragrance, which blooms in many different colors and forms, from shrubs to climbers, but is prized for its aesthetic and symbolic value in a garden or culture. They have stems with sharp prickles and require full sun, good air circulation, and regular watering and feeding to thrive.

Without all of those conditions, do you think the flower will still have the same beauty?

If you’re not in the proper conditions, meaning having the right feedings, water, and circulation (think deeper than the superficial), will you still have the same beauty?

Society Beauty vs. God’s Beauty.

In this “good” society in the year 2026 (and many years before), the definition of beauty is not thought of deeply. It is very superficial. Like overly superficial and often times if you are not considered “BEAUtiful” by society standards, then you do NOT have beauty… not beautiful… not it…. not her…. not THAT GIRL…. not a baddieeeeeeee…… not likeable…..not pretty….not wanted….just a no.

I will say that over the last 2 years, natural ladies have started making their way to the front. AS THEY SHOULD. There are a lot of negative thoughts and opinions behind cosmetic surgeries, as they try to mimic natural bodies (mostly) and often make those once natural women look wayyyyyy different than who they were before. It’s by choice. I’ve started to see some woman regretting their surgeries, and the main reason why starts with attention from men. Not doing it with the right intentions or doing it for the pleasure of men. Now I am not talking about cosmetic surgeries that are needed due to injury, drastic weight loss or for health reasons (yes there are some!) I am talking about a woman who changed who they are for something or someone else besides themselves.

I am here to tell you that beauty has a different definition. Not one thats conformed to STANDARDS set by people who truly don’t have the RIGHT type of beauty that lies within.

Have you ever been around someone who is “aesthetically” or “physically” beautiful, pretty, gorgeoussssss…. all around 10, but said something that revealed their heart and just became ugly? Like instantly.

Why can’t we see the beauty that lies within? Why can’t people just accept natural features, facial structures, or body shapes that were given to them for a reason? Why is “not standard” considered ugly? Why, when someone likes someone who doesn’t look like what the rapper talks about, is the person shy to be seen with that person? I have many, many manyyy questions.

Beauty is both on the inside and on the outside. Yes, you can be ugly on the inside. Ugly is a negative term, but what does that mean? It means that you are exhibiting features that are not nice or respectable, but are dark, malicious, rude, morally incorrect, harsh, vindictive, belittling, condescending, and the list goes on and on. What is built on the inside will always show itself on the outside.

“What goes into someone’s mouth does not defile them, but what comes iut of their mouth, that is what defiles them.” ~ Matthew 15:11

Jesus said, “You brood of snakes! How could evil men like you speak what is good and right? For whatever is in your heart determines what you say. A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart.” ~‭‭Matthew‬ ‭12‬:‭34‬-‭35‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Check it ladies.

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

(now don’t eat me up, I’ll explain)

You are beautiful. B_E_A_U_T_I_F_U_L. You are pretty, gorgeous, attractive, great-looking, alluring, lovely, stunning, exquisite, radiant, captivating, magnificent, divine, breathtaking, and every other beautiful word in the dictionary! If no one has told you, I WILL.

You don’t have to chase after someone who cannot open their eyes to see your beauty. They are quick to say they can look past your face and body structure because you’re nice and care for them. Some boys…. yes boys…. look for women that are wayyyyy out of their scope. Women who they cannot handle or do not match the level that she is on. They cannot handle all of her beauty inside and out. Why should you settle for that? Like be fr?! Some even belittle woman stating, “You not even all that” but are QUICK to get mad (like boi if you don’t get on!) when another MAN sees the pretty lady for what she’s worth and beyond. The one who is for you will understand who he has on his arm. He will not only accept, but not try to correct or negatively enhance the beauty that you possess. If he can’t take you for how you look, and all that bundle of beauty, DO NOT change to make it happen. Your beauty is still there whether someone notices it or not. BEHOLDER or NOT!

“But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.’” ~ 1 Samuel 16:7

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” ~‭‭Romans‬ ‭12‬:‭2‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Worth.

You are worthy of LOVE.

You are worthy of ABUNDANCE.

You are worthy. WORTHYYYYY

And don’t let anyone tell you differently.

Now I am not saying that there is no work to be done internally. If you need to change within because within is not up to par, then that needs to be done. It builds a chance for you do some REAL work with GOD so that He can get you right. Like I said before, you CAN be ugly inside, and that will be your downfall in your relationships, friendships and in your relationship with GOD.

Everyone says that ladies need to be a Proverbs 31 woman…. Have YOU read Proverbs 31? Do you have all of the characteristics of being a Proverbs 31 woman? I challenge you to read it. It is an eye opener, fr. The bible literally lays it out. Now again, think deep and not superficial. To be virtuous, you have to check both the inner (the thoughts, the way you think, what you accept and don’t accept, anger, certain emotions, etc.) and the outer (NOT HOW YOU LOOK but how you move as a woman… you know exactly what that means). We will discuss this is a later blog so stay tuned!

“Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.” ~Proverbs 31:10

“She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.” ~ Proverbs 31:25-26

Now lets get into Self Love.

If you understand God’s creation, then you’ll understand YOUR creation. Self-love is recognizing that you are God’s intentional creation. INTENTIONAL. Genesis reminds us that God looked at what HE made and called it good. THAT INCLUDES YOU. When you begin to understand God as Creator, self-love stops being about ego. Gotta let go of the go sis. Self-love starts being about stewardship, which is caring for what God has lovingly formed. Understanding God’s creation also shows us that everything has purpose, process, and seasons. Nature doesn’t rush, compare, or apologize for growing differently. (girl, I know comparison is easy. We BOTH have to stop comparing based on what we see or how others treat us) Self-love means allowing yourself to grow at God’s pace, trusting that your design, your personality, gifts, and even your struggles, serve a purpose in His plan. We talked about rushing last week. God made you to be who YOU are meant to be. Why do we let others tear down the image that God made us to be?

“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.”~‭‭Psalms‬ ‭139‬:‭13‬-‭16‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Self-love deepens when you see yourself through God’s eyes:

You were created with intention
You were designed with value
You were made to reflect His image

SIMPLE.

When you understand creation, you learn that flaws don’t cancel worth. I repeat, YOU ARE WORTHY. Flaws highlight uniqueness. YOU ARE UNIQUE AND THAT IS ALRIGHT. (I will not apologize for yelling!) God uses contrast, imperfection, and diversity throughout creation to display His creativity. You heard that? GOD’S CREATIVITY. Loving yourself can and should become an act of faith and obedience, not pride. soooooooooo Put your pride aside ladies. PUT IT UP!

Why do we question God’s creativity? Why do we talk about our melanated skin in such a poor manner? Why do we let others create a diminished view of how we look or “should look” in our minds? WE, ME+YOU, are beautiful. Every freckle, birthmark, beauty mark, skin tone, hair color, hair texture, hair length, body proportion, body size, every feature, every inch on our body, EVERYTHING, is beautiful.

Affirm: “I am me and she is she, but I love me because God made me and that is TEAAAAAAAAA.”

I want you to be the best that you can be. Are you trying to be the best that you can be, or are you settling for what others have put on you? (clock that ma’am)

Let’s get deep for a moment.

Healthy self-love is rooted in an understanding of who you are. If you do not know who you are, then you need to start there first. Because if you don’t know who you are, or who’s you are (GODs duhh) then you’ll allow other people’s negative thoughts or definitions of you to be planted and rooted. We do not want that. If it has already started, then we rebuke that. You really need to start reflecting. You are not a mistake, a backup plan, or an accident. God created you with intention, care, and purpose. Self-love begins when you stop defining yourself by your past, your flaws, or others’ opinions and start defining yourself by God’s truth.
–>Loving yourself means agreeing with God about who you are.

Do not combine your value to what you do and not to who you are. You are worthy before you accomplish anything! Meaning, just because you haven’t completed anything yet, doesn’t mean you are not worthy of greatness or benefits or blessings or anything. God’s love does not need to earned, it’s given. When you rest and indulge in the truth, you are freeing yourself from constant comparison, burnout and self-criticism. Those three categories can change how you feel and think of your yourself. That often leads to negative actions or actions that cause you to run from who you are really called to be.
–>You don’t have to prove your worth. You already have it.

Practice grace towards yourself. (easier said than done) God extends grace daily and we are the hardest on ourselves. Why is that? It is often rooted in how we think about yourself and many emotions stem from comparison. We often think that we should be in a different place in life or start to regret what has already occurred. Or even that we don’t know how to properly have grace with ourselves because we want to be the best version of yourself or what we don’t know how to. Self-love means allowing room for growth, mistakes and much needed healing. You have made mistakes. That is okay. That is alright. Not just because everyone also makes mistakes but because it will be okay at the end of the day. We can learn and ask for forgiveness for our mistakes and we will get grace from the man above. We should give ourselves the same grace and be patient with ourselves. We’ve never lived in this moment before, we don’t know everything. IT IS OKAY. Get back up. Learn from it. Make a resolution and move on. MOVE ON. (much easier said than done but just practice it. Theres a difference from learning fromit than just pushing it off and forgetting about it. Take it from someone who has to learn before it sticks or learn from someone else’s mistakes. I’ve been there or currently going through it)
–>Give yourself permission to learn, unlearn, and become.

Care for yourself as you are God’s creation. Your body, mind, and soul matter. Self-love looks like rest when you’re tired, boundaries when you’re overwhelmed, and nourishment when you’re depleted. This can be in the physical sense and mental or spiritual sense. Physically, you’re body needs to be nourished to survive and thrive. Do what best aligns with you and your life but don’t be stingy with it. Get your hair done, nails done, lashes done, eat some good food, go watch your favorite movie, take yourself out to do a cooking class, crochet, paint, clean, and much much more can be done to help yourself mentally and physically. Block some people, mute stories from watching them, BLOCK PEOPLE, get of social media, journal more, pray more, listen to podcasts, have a real conversation with your girls, spend time with people who make you happy. There is so much that can be done to care for yourself. Taking care of yourself is not neglecting others. It’s honoring God’s creation. At many points, you have to put yourself first and ask yourself how do you feel in this moment. This applies differently in different situations.
–>You cannot pour from an empty cup, and God never asked you to.

God’s creation is full of diversity. No two flowers bloom the same, yet all are beautiful. In the same way, your journey, gifts, and timing are uniquely yours. Comparison steals joy and distorts identity. Self-love grows when you accept that you were not created to be like anyone else. Again, if you constantly are comparing yourself to other, you need to reevaluate what you are letting your eyes look at. Is it social media? Is it your coworkers? Is it television? What is causing this comparison to be so strong during this point in your life? Is it what people are saying? Is it what you are listening to? Who are you letting speak over your life/ Who is in your circle is for you rather than against you? EVALUATE AND ASSESS! Make necessary changed that will stop this flow. Your life is different from that girls life. You are YOU and she is SHE.

–>Your uniqueness is not a flaw! It’s part of God’s design.

Let your self-love reflect God’s love. True self-love doesn’t end with you. When you love yourself through God’s lens, you’re better equipped to love others with compassion, humility, and authenticity. Jesus taught us to love our neighbors as ourselves, which means self-love is not optional, it’s essential!

“Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.” ~Leviticus 19:18

–>Loving yourself well allows you to show up fully, freely, and faithfully.

Self-love is a journey, not a destination. Some days it will come easily; other days it will require intention and prayer. But remember this: loving yourself is not about becoming perfect—it’s about embracing who God created you to be.

You are loved. You are chosen. You are enough, right now. ( Say it!!)

The Ultimate Best Love = God’s Love

Love did not originate with your experiences, your family, or your relationships. Love began with God. Before you ever tried to give love, earn love, or search for love, God had already extended it to you, freely and fully. If we embody that alone, it would help so much.

Many of us learn love through people first, which means our understanding of love can become tangled with disappointment, inconsistency, or hurt. Your past can affect your definition of love. YES, I am agreeing. This is why we have to learn God’s love first so that we can understand love from others. We have to be picky in who we let love us as well. This can be a good thing or a negative thing. Do those who say they love us really love us? How do you know that they truly love you? In what ways do they love you? (I’m not saying to always question it, but girl we cannot waste anymore time on FAKE LOVE!) God’s love is not shaped by human behavior. Don’t compare God’s love with how people love you. God is God and people are people. Understanding God’s love can transform your love for others and how their love affects you. God’s love is steady, intentional, and unchanging.

When Scripture says “He first loved us,” it means God loved you before you understood Him, before you chose Him, before you got it right. His love is not reactive! It is foundational. God’s love is not a reward. It is a gift. He sent his son to die for our sins before we were even born. He did not wait until we met “perfect” conditions, as His love moved FIRST. God’s love is unconditional. Unconditional love does not mean God ignores sin; that is still your Father in heaven. His unconditional love means that he does not withdraw His love from you, even when you are in the midst of sin. (Isn’t that amazing? There’s no other love that would compare to that.) God’s love meets you where you are at and helps you walk through your healing.

You don’t have to change to be loved. You are loved so you can change.

If you begin your journey trying to love yourself or others without first anchoring yourself in God’s love, you may find yourself exhausted, empty, or striving. We do not want that to happen. God never intended for love to be something you produce on your own. Love is something you receive, then reflect. Receive the right love, reflect the right love. Embody the right love, reflect the right love.

Today is not about doing more. It’s about resting in the truth that you are already loved.

Completely.

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Self-Love = (second) Best Love